Managing Life's Ups And Downs – Emotional Regulation.
Understanding Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is not minimising emotion but more feeling the emotion without it having such a surge of intensity that it effects our attitude or behaviour. It is so vital for our wellbeing to process emotions and they are ALL valid. Society teaches us from an early age that there are good and bad emotions but this is not the case. We often hear things like ‘don’t cry’ or ‘you’re overreacting it could be worse’. Encompassing the ability to recognize, understand and manage our emotions effectively can empower individuals to navigate life's challenges with resilience and grace, fostering healthier relationships and greater overall life satisfaction.
Normalizing Fluctuations
Emotional fluctuations are as natural as the changing seasons. Just as the weather can shift from sunny to stormy, so can our emotional landscapes. Normalizing these fluctuations involves recognizing that it is okay to feel a range of emotions – from joy and excitement to sadness and anger. Understanding that emotions are ever changing and part of the human experience can alleviate the pressure to always feel happy or in control. It is not realistic to expect a continuum of positive emotions nor is staying frozen in negative emotions. This encourages learned helplessness. Trying to squash everything down and then exploding can have such a negative impact too.
10 Ways to Enhance Emotional Regulation:
Mindfulness/Meditation: Take a cue from mindfulness meditation, a practice that encourages observing thoughts and emotions without judgment. For example, imagine sitting in a peaceful garden and observing the flowers swaying in the breeze. Similarly, observe your thoughts and emotions as passing phenomena without getting swept away by them.
Deep Breathing Exercises: Picture yourself inflating and deflating a balloon slowly and steadily. Deep breathing exercises can be as simple as inhaling slowly through your nose for a count of four, holding for a count of four and exhaling through your mouth for a count of four. This technique calms the nervous system and promotes relaxation.
Silence: Often avoided by many but can be so beneficial to us. When we sit in silence we can hear our own inner voice more and invite in emotions that we can sit through. Learning and experiencing this takes off so much pressure. Put aside 5 minutes a day to intentionally sit in your emotions.
Journaling: Think of journaling as having a conversation with yourself on paper. Set aside time each day to write about your thoughts, feelings and experiences. By externalizing your emotions, you gain clarity and insight into your inner world. Have emotional check ins and try not live life on autopilot.
Physical Activity: Whether it is going for a walk, practicing yoga or dancing in your living room. Physical activity is a significant outlet for stress. Engaging in regular exercise releases endorphins, the body's natural mood lifters, promoting a sense of well-being. If you have access to a sauna at your local health club also an effective way to regulate the body with a cold shower after.
Healthy Lifestyle Habits: Consider your body as a temple and treat it accordingly. Ensure you are getting enough sleep, nourishing your body with wholesome foods and staying hydrated. Avoid excessive alcohol and caffeine, as they can exacerbate emotions.
Social Support: leaning on social support during challenging times can be such a relief. Reach out to friends, family or a therapist for guidance and encouragement. Sharing your emotions with people you trust provides connection and resilience. Peer support is extremely powerful and it is not always about fixing but listening and being alongside someone to feel.
Cognitive Restructuring: Imagine viewing your thoughts through a different lens, like trying on a new pair of glasses. Cognitive restructuring involves challenging and reframing negative thought patterns. For instance, replace catastrophic thinking "I'll never get through this" with realistic and empowering statements "I've overcome challenges before, and I have the skills to handle this". Reframe the way you perceive a situation for example, instead of seeing criticism as a personal attack, view it as constructive feedback for growth.
Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in need. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your struggles without self-judgment. Treat yourself to moments of self-care, whether it is taking a bubble bath, indulging in your favourite book or simply giving yourself permission to rest. It is so important to not shame yourself for feeling any emotion or for not performing because you feel a certain way.
Mastering the art of emotional regulation is such an empowering way to live life but it is also not linear too. By normalizing emotional fluctuations and embracing effective strategies for regulation, you can work through things for your well-being and fulfilment. Remember, it is not about avoiding the hard bits in life as they will happen, but rather learning to navigate them with courage and resilience. Afterall, life is not about waiting for the storms to pass... It is about learning how to dance in the rain.
Hopefully, this blog has got you thinking and made you question things. If you feel you would like to explore in more depth, please book an assessment call to get started.
